If having twins has taught me one thing and one thing only, it’s to take off your judgey pants and throw them in the garbage.
I used to be a mom judger before I became a mom. I think I was anyway. I didn’t have much empathy to hand out to moms in general, yet alone those struggling through everyday tasks with their kids. I didn’t get it. I was the childless airplane passenger that would roll my eyes and order an extra glass of wine when a child under the age of 5 was seated remotely close to me. I wasn’t a jerk, I just didn’t understand what parenting was.
And then I had kids.
And now, I see it. It’s a boatload of work. ALL. OF. THE. TIME. And now I feel those eyes of judgment on me that I was doling out so freely pre-kids. In fact, I don’t think I can successfully go anywhere in my current life with my toddler twins and elementary school boys without someone shooting me a look of judgment, or if it’s a particularly challenging day, firing a string of red hot fireballs out of their eyes in my direction.
I was recently picking up my boys from a day camp and as I was waiting, one of my twins escaped from the stroller and started running around the back of the room and squealing with glee that she was free at last. Similar to the scene in the Sound of Music with Julie Andrews on the top of the mountain, except with more of a screeching sound and far less grace.
And as I was standing there watching her spin around me, the woman standing in front of shot me a look. I didn’t even notice at first, until it happened the second time and the mom I was talking to alerted me that I had a string of fireballs headed for me. Sure enough, judgment was staring me in the face.
What am I doing wrong to be on the receiving end of this judgment? Nothing. I’m just going about my day juggling the constant needs of 4 tiny humans who are constantly challenging the limits of life and that is no easy task.
So…I just smiled back at her. Perhaps she is one of those blessed mothers with quiet and perfectly behaved children that just can’t relate to my situation.
…or maybe she just put on the wrong pants that morning.